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To breed, or not to breed?

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(no subject) [May. 12th, 2009|12:06 pm]
To breed, or not to breed?

hversu
Hey...I'm not sure where to start, I've got some complicated and frustrating issues that I guess I need to rant about and seek some feedback on.

My thoughts on kids.Collapse )

So there's this guy..Collapse )

His seemingly contradictory thoughts on kids.Collapse )

Thanks for reading.
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Other people's children [Aug. 1st, 2008|01:08 pm]
To breed, or not to breed?

purpleangelz
Wow, it's been awhile since anyone has posted in here! 

I have a bit of a rant, and I'm wondering if anyone else has family or friends that somehow think being in close proximity to children will suddenly make you want them without a doubt?

My brother has two children, who I adore like crazy. My nephew Ben, is 3 1/2, and my neice, Ava, is 4 1/2 months. I only get to see them about 4-5 times a year, since I'm in Canada and my brother and SIL are in Virginia, and whenever they come up for a visit, my husband and I usually jump at the chance to hang out with them (Especially Ben, since he's old enough now that we can take him out places without diapers and separation anxiety and such).

While my mom *tries* to understand that we are strongly considering never having children, and even tries to be cool with it, she sometimes can't help herself and tries to "encourage" us by using my neice and nephew as an example. They are coming up in a few weeks, and my husband and I are planning to take Ben to a museum, an aqaurium and out for some dinner. My mom immediately take this as a sign that we are "trying out parenting", and keeps telling us that we should spend as much time as we can with the kids to "see how much fun it would be to have them." Every chance she gets, she'll say "Oh look at how cute they are!! Don't you want one? Don't you want to give me a grandchild?" Or she'll even say "But you're so GOOD with children, how can you not have one?" "Rob would be a GREAT father." It gets really tiresome, and I don't know when it became mandatory that if you love children and are good with them, that it's a disservice to the world if you don't have any of your own. 

She's gone to the lengths of setting up a situation where we are pretty much forced to change a diaper, or something of the sort, as she somehow thinks she's going to change our minds. I don't really know how to deal with her effectively and it drives me nuts. Can't she just respect our choices? 

Ugh.
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New [May. 28th, 2008|06:09 pm]
To breed, or not to breed?

buzzandbullies

What a fun community, and very helpful! Love the name!

I am 26, and my husband and I have been married for 2 years, together for 7. 

My issue with deciding whether or not to breed is if a kid is going to make my life a living hell. I babysit my nephew every Saturday, and while I love him, wow is it a lot of effort. 

But would I not mind the effort as much if it were my own kid? I would most likely be a stay-at-home mom, so would I be more likely to cope with the work that goes into it with not having a career too?

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Introduction [May. 28th, 2008|01:56 pm]
To breed, or not to breed?

purpleangelz

Hey everyone, I'm so glad someone decided to start this community. 

I'm Robyn, I'm 26, and my husband is 27. We've been married for three months, and together for 6 1/2 years in total. When we first met, we were both adamant about not wanting children, as we were young and focusing on school and enjoying our freedom, but now that we are getting older and are married, we are kind of sitting on the fence, although we know for sure we aren't interested in kids at this very moment in time. Mostly, we really enjoy each other's company and the freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want to. We enjoy travelling and taking weekend trips on a whim, listening to our music as loud as we feel like, staying up late and sleeping in late, renovating our house, treating ourselves to nights out, and having lots of money to spend on what we like. 

I think the part that leaves us sitting on the fence is the fact that we both love children, and wonder how we'll feel a few years down the road. We don't want to decide too late that we want children, as neither of us wants to be too old to keep up to young children and spend our "golden years" parenting teenagers. I have a neice and a nephew, and we both love spending time with them, but we both wonder if we could really handle the responsibility full time. We find ourselves saying "Gee, I'm glad that's not us!" when we see misbehaving children in public or tired, worn out looking parents. 

We just have so much we want to do with our lives, and it's hard to figure children into the equation. It's just so hard to know if we'll regret it when we're, say in our 30s or 40s if we choose to remain child free.

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First post. [May. 28th, 2008|10:41 am]
To breed, or not to breed?

rustyangel
If anyone has any suggestions for anything that should be added to the interests or the profile page, I'm completely open to suggestions. I'll be fleshing out the info a little more.

Anyway, to get the ball rolling, I'm Erin, 26 years old, married for 2 years, and I'm ambivalent about having kids. Sometimes I feel like I REALLY would like kids (I find this often corresponds to whether people I know are having children), and sometimes I feel like there's no way I want to commit all that time and effort and sacrifice my hobbies and other life goals.

My husband would like children, though he's said that if I decide I don't want children, he can live with that. The one thing we're sure of is we don't want kids RIGHT NOW. If we do choose to have them, we're waiting till we're 30. :-P

Edit: If anyone has mad icon-making skills, I'd be eternally grateful if you make us an icon. Be creative! I don't know, a question mark with a baby's head for the dot? See, this is why I'm no good at making icons.
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